Today is thirteen days, which are one week and six days of the Omer. Yesod of Gevurah: Intimacy needs a container.

Intimacy needs a Container to keep it safe, a boundary within which it can flourish. And Yesod is all about intimacy—spiritual, emotional and physical. When we look at the images on the cards we can see what happens when the Container that is Gevurah is broken. In the Five of Wands, no one trusts the social structure to protect them, and no one is following the rules. Clearly someone is going to get hurt.

That someone is the figure in the Nine of Wands. He has been wounded and is wary of Bonding with another. But he leaves space in the line of staves standing in the ground for someone to step through—though they might be met with a blow from the staff in the man’s hands. Or he might find his ability to trust again, put down is defense and step through to the other side himself.

On the spiritual level this could be about being wounded by one’s faith community or tradition. Emotionally this could reflect an intimacy where the boundaries were not respected—perhaps something confidential was shared in the belief that trust would be respected, only what was intended as private was shared with others. We all know someone who likes to do this. On the physical level, these images can refer to either betrayal of sexual intimacy in cheating, or a violation of sexual boundaries—sexual assault.

I would be shocked if there were someone reading this who hasn’t experienced at least one of these three kinds of violations. I’ve experienced all three. And I must admit I’ve also been a perpetrator in a couple of these cases.

Intimacy also needs discipline—and by that I mean a regular practice—when it is first starting out. There’s a reason couples that are starting to share intimacies call or text each other daily. Relationship needs tending. That’s why married couples with children need date nights. Intimacy needs boundaries. That’s what establishes trust.

In some of my relationships I have been successful in all these ways. In other relationships I have been an abject failure.

Today, when I physically can’t be with the people I am intimate with spiritually or emotionally it is more important than ever to keep up regular contact. Since the physical isolation began my phone has never left my side. There are people I call every day. People I call every few days. Especially people I know who like me, live alone. It’s part of my commitment to the discipline of relationship—and I hope it demonstrates my commitment to intimacy in these relationships.

What are you doing under these difficult circumstances to provide a strong container for intimacy to flourish?