Today is seven days, which are one week of the Omer. Malchut of Chesed: the Ten and Four of Wands.
We have completed one week—six more to go. Are you feeling like you took on too much? You may be feeling unsure after 7 days whether you can last for the next 42—that this practice is weighing you down.
The images in the 10 and 4 of Wands can be considered in several ways.
This combination can be about taking on Responsibility (one of the characteristics of Malchut) in the service of Love. The question is, have I taken on too much Responsibility? As a single man living alone this is not an issue for me during the pandemic. I say this despite the fact that I am working a 9-5 job (that I am profoundly grateful for in this difficult time), that I’m working this path and writing daily, I’m taking classes and attending services via Zoom, and volunteering to call elderly people who live alone and are feeling more disconnected in this time of physical distancing. This means I am very busy—but I am not feeling overwhelmed or burdened by my responsibilities. I am sometimes overwhelmed by all the precautions I have to take—just doing laundry in my building’s basement was exhausting.
However, feeling overwhelmed by responsibility may be an issue for you if you’ve got a job you’re doing from home and have children at home. And I have also noted when the 10 of Wands shows up in a reading for someone in a helping profession—the medical profession, clergy, social workers—this can be a card that suggests someone who is taking too much responsibility and may be approaching burnout.
This combination can also suggest that one has so many creative projects that rather than experiencing them as joyful self-expression, they have become a burden.
In either case, this can lead to feelings of resentment or guilt at not being able to handle all these responsibilities/ideas.
That’s the time to stop and remember all these things we take on are in the service of love. To consider what it might be possible to put down. And to remember, that just as in the 10 of Wands, where the man’s destination is visible in the distance, this situation is not permanent. While we may not see the end yet, we know it will come.
Questions I find myself considering for today include: Do I experience love as a burden? Do I take on more than I can handle? Have I complained about the blessings in my life as a way of downplaying my good fortune when I speak to someone else out guilt?
What questions come up for you?